It will soon be lunar October 1 of the lunar calendar, which is the traditional ancestor worship day.

I miss my mother again.

Mother had a hard life, a hard life and a simple life. She left us four years ago.

When I think of it, among I am brothers and sisters, the child who most let mother Amoy God.

In my memory, there are many life fragments in early childhood.

Once, I didn’t know what disease I had and was hospitalized. In Hengshui town, Lin county, it was called commune at that time. I forgot all the crimes of the injection and infusion. I only remember that my mother took me to the town to let the wind go. It was about noon, the weather was fine and the sun was shining. The whole street, now I think it is on both sides of East-West Street, is full of clay portraits, which are very simple and exaggerated. The body, arms and legs are hay (millet straw) as muscles and bones, and a thick layer of mud is applied outside. The most attractive thing in the facial features is the nose, which is all tall and big. I should have asked my mother who this is, and then I knew that these were all Liu Shaoqi and Wang Guangmei. I touched this and that again curiously. Three steps one, two steps one, too much. It was around 1968,spring or summer.

Later, my mother often said that I was often hospitalized at that time. Most of the diseases are dysentery, which is very troublesome. When it is serious, the soup will not enter. My father probably thought I was too tired of my mother and said, give him a good support (care). Maybe he still expects this child when he is old.

Once I went to Lin County to be hospitalized, as if it was because of a high fever. It is also a hot summer, it should be noon. I remember there were Niang, elder sister and two elder brothers, who carried me towards the direction with TUI. I still remember that when I walked to the west ridge of the village, Niang let me drink water from time to time. The water is put in the thermos bottle with me. My mother uses the lid to pick up the water, and then feed it to me when it is cold. I don’t remember anything else. This thermos bottle has been with us for a long time. It is a thin aluminum shell, surrounded by concave vertical channels.

I didn’t become lame or tiptoe at that age, and I should also thank my parents 12 points. Among my peers, there was no lack of leg disability, because polio was prevalent in those years. Later, according to my mother, I am saw it in time and used good medicine, which escaped a disaster.

But I finally failed. It really doesn’t work. It means to die. I still remember that my mother has put on my last clothes. It is about winter, with cotton-padded jacket on the top and cotton-padded trousers on the bottom, thick and bulging. Cotton-padded jacket is purple, cotton-padded trousers are green, and the pattern is exactly the same, which is composed of black lines like vines. The fabric should be popular in that era. I was about to throw me away, but I survived again. According to the second sister, she came home from school at noon and found that I was alive again. Ma went to tell her classmates, who were also good friends and the daughter of the old Zhanshu family, it’s called Xiang er.

Now I think about it, I really didn’t drag my mother too much, which made my mother feel a lot tired.

Alas, when I think of these things, my heart is mixed.

Sadness is inevitable, but there is still warmth of accommodation.

Ah, life is short, the red dust is getting old, and the dead are like a river!

20201112 Yu Fuxi cold House

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