Stagnation

I seem to be nothingness.

There seems to be nothing in my mind. I tried my best to catch something, but I couldn’t catch it at all. I want to concentrate some energy, but it seems that my mind is a barren mountain without any grass, even without any wind and sand.

Those things poured out of my mind, squeezing the temples and the corners of my eyes sour.

I was driving, but as if the car did not exist. I’m just floating in this world, running towards you.

There were pedestrians on the side of the road, and they were in a trance. They moved slowly, with clear faces and clear facial features, but they were also in a daze.

The Weeping Willow along the road were motionless, and one by one were dull people wearing straw raincoat ancient poems. They looked at me coldly and lonely, without any slight eyes.

The tombstone in the cemetery is also like them. The Cold name does not have a drop of tears.

Without any wind, the whole world stagnated.

Paper money is still in the shape of layers and layers. Although they have been burnt out, they seem to be a large gray flower in another world, with ungentle petals and motionless stripes. But I know, I can’t hold it. Before burning paper, there was a regular round pit. I think it should be the place where animals find heating. After all, it has been raining all the time this year, but I prefer to believe it, that is the flowerpot that you have already placed, waiting for me to put in this burning flower.

I sat beside you, I felt the cold tears on my face, but I couldn’t hear its voice. In the world, maybe only it is moving, slowly spreading. The dark red cigarette butts were burning in my hands, and I didn’t feel any warmth, as if it was also cold.

I suddenly coughed violently. It seemed that a current was sent from my chest and rushed across my shoulder quickly until the end of my fingers. I felt the Twitch to be destroyed. I stood up. The sky was blue, pure and dusk. I questioned in my heart, God! Can’t I even be sad?

No one answered me. All the leaves in front of us, big and small, are quiet and motionless, just like eyes big and small, indifferent and expressionless.

No bird flew over, and they also avoided. They seemed unwilling to look at me directly, unwilling to see the desperate eyes in my tears.

I haven’t been here for more than a month. Suddenly, your grave has been filled with dense small trees, most of which are elm trees. I don’t know when they came and how they took root. You must watch them grow up with your pity eyes and your loving eyes when you look at each child. Perhaps, when you speak quietly in the dead of night, you are not so lonely when you can’t sleep. However, they cover your eyes. You can’t see the TTL in the distance. Then I often stare at the TTL alone and far away.

Suddenly a sound of cuckoo came down from the bottom of the ditch, with a deep cry and intermittent sobs. It seemed that all the sad and bitter rain during this period of time soaked every inch of feathers on its body, soaked its heart again. It was silent after only two calls, which were also a struggle in drowning. I can’t save it, nor can it save me.

The sound of cicadas also gradually rose, like a sobbing ocean, with a low voice, boundless.

There is no wind, and the leaves do not move.

It’s going to be dark.

August 16, 2020

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