Outer Moon

The corridor of the emergency department of the hospital was chaotic.

The patient was groaning and struggling. Relatives are anxious, sad, tired, embarrassed but helpless. Hospital reception counter of nurses asked with strict eyes and sound quality.

Only the doctor was calm, not looking up, asking two words in no hurry, knocking on the keyboard crackingly.

I will never come to this place again.

The night three and a half years ago, you were lying in the high hospital bed in this corridor, calling my name one after another, not letting me leave you half a step, you must be struggling in horror, feeling that you are sinking into the abyss. In the intensive care unit, I squatted beside your hospital bed and kept rubbing your feet. You must feel cold and numb. In the rescue bed, four or five doctors surrounded you. They drove me aside. I was full of tears, but I could only pray. I could only keep you in my heart. Besides, there is no way.

At two o’clock that morning, I looked for a doctor, who was still treating the new patient without delay, indifferent and decisive. At four o’clock in the morning that day, at this moment, you suddenly vomited, and several doctors came in a hurry to discuss the treatment plan. Give you blood, we push you to do all kinds of tests, and then wait anxiously for the results to come out.

At that time, I really thought that you would survive. You were always healthy, cheerful and kind and respectable.

I sat on the chair and looked at every place that was unforgettable, as if there were your painful face and your warm breath.

Tears poured out of my eyes, the mask was wet, and I didn’t want to take it off. Our dear elder sister sat beside me and looked at me with her eyes from time to time. She survived with you that day. She knew my mind and she must be very sad.

Big Brother-in-law suddenly felt very bad tonight. I had no choice but to come to this sad place.

Still anxiously waiting for the examination results, I walked slowly to the outside. It was very hot during the day and there was a freezing cold at night.

In the moonlight, it was my short shadow. I looked up and glanced at it. The dim gray clouds were round, big, bright, calm and cool, there seems to be a little loving looking at me.

I lowered my head. The Moon is out of the world. It has nothing to do with me, you or the chaos in the emergency room.

I knew today was the 15th day. In the evening, my baby and I were at home. Suddenly I caught a glimpse of the full moon outside the window. I looked at the calendar.

The path in the garden in front of the door is shining with pale light. It is from here that we push you to the surgical inpatient department and to the last moment of your life. At that time, the sun was very dazzling. I talked to you gently. There was a light in your eyes, and my tears were spinning in my eyes.

The impatient building building is not far away. A fan of Windows is bright, and how much pain and suffering are hidden in it.

Dark red cigarette butts are tiny and hopeless in the moonlight. No one knows that kind of struggle and despair, and the cigarette with tears, are so bitter.

Baby is alone at home. I hope he will fall asleep peacefully and have sweet dreams, just like all the people who fall asleep quietly.

May 26, 2021

Zan (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) remember the past, a little more youth without any regrets

Lao Gen said: I have a new idea. Draw the scene of Nangang reservoir more carefully. Let’s remember the past and have more youth…

Silly girl

Before last October, I worked and lived in Hongqiao town. This is an ordinary small town in southern Sichuan, the only one that can highlight local characteristics…

You have to go, I will go with you

Recently, I have been listening to teacher Jiang Xun talking about a dream of Red Mansions. I really think it is quite good! He said such an interesting…

Birthday soul

I stood up and stared at the kind name on your tombstone. The warmth of the tombstone gradually dispersed. I raised my head and the sky was clean…

Liu Ma and her son

Wang Xin, the eldest son of Liu Ma, finally became a family at the age of 32, but she always felt uneasy. The ins and outs of things are really difficult…

The Gleaners under the persimmon tree

Lao Gen was silent and a little sad. He thought of Xiaofang, who had liked him when he was young. (Xiaofang: now they are educated young people who liked the countryside…

Spring is gone

The fourth spring after you left.

I am at home alone.

Turning off the light, darkness and loneliness rushed over and swallowed me instantly. Tears slipped down my face quickly. The house was very quiet. I seemed to hear the sound of tears falling down.

I sat on the small bench in the kitchen, with only dark red cigarette butts and bright windows outside the window.

A fine example sharp noise came from the yard. The little baby went to the third sister’s house. The third sister missed him and wanted to stay with him all night.

I know the woods in the yard, the flowers that should bloom and fall are all falling. When I came home, I had already seen that spring had been deeply submerged by the years.

And those flowers, those tender leaf, those spring, I only cast a shallow glance. They may have seen me and walked by silently and lifelessly every day. Sometimes the baby is around, one high and one low. Baby is happy sometimes. I also smile and joke. However, they must have noticed that when my baby didn’t look at me, I was tired and sad.

I just passed by spring, a shadow of passing years, often wearing a messy gray hair.

Sometimes, baby holds a small flower, a few leaves and a few grass in his hand. He often runs over in a hurry and comes up to him to smell those flowers. He loves beauty, he is naive. Originally, he should also be happy and happy.

However, those flowers, those grass and leaves had already withered and I threw them into the trash can. Last weekend, the small apricots he picked must have withered without any brilliance.

The bowl I had eaten a few days ago was placed on the stove in a mess, looking at me silently with my head bowed and tears. Since you left, they have lost their luster like me, I lost my soul.

I know those winter jasmine, those Magnolia, those apricot flowers, those peach blossoms, those Li Hua flowers and large rape flowers in the fields. I used to like them so much, just like you like them, however, now, I only see a piece of the Rose, a flower tree, but I can no longer see their charm, their delicacy and delicacy, I can’t smell their fragrance either. The faint fragrance of flowers is refreshing and sweet in memory.

This spring, I only remember that it was hot and cold. Three months ago, there used to be a few days warmer than now. Remember some rain, untimely, completely the taste of autumn. I remember some cold, accompanied by layers of thick clouds, and there were chilling spring snow on the top of the far TTL. I remember drinking with my closest friends twice, drinking unconscious, being helped by my friends, and crying in the street. I remember some wine bars. I ate dishes silently and drank wine, which was a lonely visitor and lonely soul in the bustling world.

Of course, I can’t forget to take my baby to the mountain fields in spring. Sometimes my baby is gambol, sometimes it is sensible and strong that does not match his age.

Between Heaven and Earth, two figures, one high and one low, made me summon up courage, remind me and tell me that spring is beautiful and promising.

He is not at home tonight. I turned on the lamp, and the shadow fell on the wall, mottled, without human form.

It is said that when you are alone, Shadow is a person’s soul.

2021-4-16

Zan (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) remember the past, a little more youth without any regrets

Lao Gen said: I have a new idea. Draw the scene of Nangang reservoir more carefully. Let’s remember the past and have more youth…

Silly girl

Before last October, I worked and lived in Hongqiao town. This is an ordinary small town in southern Sichuan, the only one that can highlight local characteristics…

You have to go, I will go with you

Recently, I have been listening to teacher Jiang Xun talking about a dream of Red Mansions. I really think it is quite good! He said such an interesting…

Birthday soul

I stood up and stared at the kind name on your tombstone. The warmth of the tombstone gradually dispersed. I raised my head and the sky was clean…

Liu Ma and her son

Wang Xin, the eldest son of Liu Ma, finally became a family at the age of 32, but she always felt uneasy. The ins and outs of things are really difficult…

The Gleaners under the persimmon tree

Lao Gen was silent and a little sad. He thought of Xiaofang, who had liked him when he was young. (Xiaofang: now they are educated young people who liked the countryside…