The corridor of the emergency department of the hospital was chaotic.
The patient was groaning and struggling. Relatives are anxious, sad, tired, embarrassed but helpless. Hospital reception counter of nurses asked with strict eyes and sound quality.
Only the doctor was calm, not looking up, asking two words in no hurry, knocking on the keyboard crackingly.
I will never come to this place again.
The night three and a half years ago, you were lying in the high hospital bed in this corridor, calling my name one after another, not letting me leave you half a step, you must be struggling in horror, feeling that you are sinking into the abyss. In the intensive care unit, I squatted beside your hospital bed and kept rubbing your feet. You must feel cold and numb. In the rescue bed, four or five doctors surrounded you. They drove me aside. I was full of tears, but I could only pray. I could only keep you in my heart. Besides, there is no way.
At two o’clock that morning, I looked for a doctor, who was still treating the new patient without delay, indifferent and decisive. At four o’clock in the morning that day, at this moment, you suddenly vomited, and several doctors came in a hurry to discuss the treatment plan. Give you blood, we push you to do all kinds of tests, and then wait anxiously for the results to come out.
At that time, I really thought that you would survive. You were always healthy, cheerful and kind and respectable.
I sat on the chair and looked at every place that was unforgettable, as if there were your painful face and your warm breath.
Tears poured out of my eyes, the mask was wet, and I didn’t want to take it off. Our dear elder sister sat beside me and looked at me with her eyes from time to time. She survived with you that day. She knew my mind and she must be very sad.
Big Brother-in-law suddenly felt very bad tonight. I had no choice but to come to this sad place.
Still anxiously waiting for the examination results, I walked slowly to the outside. It was very hot during the day and there was a freezing cold at night.
In the moonlight, it was my short shadow. I looked up and glanced at it. The dim gray clouds were round, big, bright, calm and cool, there seems to be a little loving looking at me.
I lowered my head. The Moon is out of the world. It has nothing to do with me, you or the chaos in the emergency room.
I knew today was the 15th day. In the evening, my baby and I were at home. Suddenly I caught a glimpse of the full moon outside the window. I looked at the calendar.
The path in the garden in front of the door is shining with pale light. It is from here that we push you to the surgical inpatient department and to the last moment of your life. At that time, the sun was very dazzling. I talked to you gently. There was a light in your eyes, and my tears were spinning in my eyes.
The impatient building building is not far away. A fan of Windows is bright, and how much pain and suffering are hidden in it.
Dark red cigarette butts are tiny and hopeless in the moonlight. No one knows that kind of struggle and despair, and the cigarette with tears, are so bitter.
Baby is alone at home. I hope he will fall asleep peacefully and have sweet dreams, just like all the people who fall asleep quietly.
May 26, 2021
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